Search the Web with WebCrawler
Tweet Follow @BORNCURIOUS Daily Question Blog

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday excerpt from my autobiographical novel,S'mothered


These were some of the things I reflected on, as I stood shivering, my hands almost frost bitten, eyes tearing and nose numb, at the corner of Colfax and Seaton avenues on December 8, 1941. The previous day was of course a fateful one for America, but I was too young to realize how much the happenings of the past 24 hours somewhere half way around the world, would influence the rest of my adolescence.

The Japanese invaded Pearl Harbor. The same night, President Roosevelt announced our country was now at war. I knew what a war was. I had toy soldiers and I lined them up against my friend’s soldiers. He tried to kill my soldiers, and I tried to kill his. Even at the age of ten I understood the war the President talked about was a lot more serious than our make-believe wars.

During the next few years, four of the remaining males in my life served in World War 11 on various battlefields thousands of miles from Rose Point, my Uncle Sal, Uncle Pat, Uncle Frank and my stepfather Hank. I missed them all but when Uncle Sal left, I cried.

Patriotic fever was beginning to erupt, even in our small ethnic community in New Jersey as just about all the able-bodied men marched off to war. Bands played and women wept with pride as each week some additional young men left their jobs, schools or businesses to fight against booted fascists and yellow, sneaky, cowardly Japs.

These were exciting, proud, almost euphoric days and weeks in the little town I lived in. The radios blared forth songs like “Lets Remember Pearl Harbor” and at the one movie theater in the town, almost overnight, every picture playing showed soldiers, sailors and marines fighting monsters like Hitler, Mussolini and Hirohito.

It all seemed surreal. The headlines in the daily newspapers, which I couldn’t wait to read each morning, were bold and black and twice the size as usual. The radio bulletins interrupted regular programs to announce news of the Allied Forces advancing and then retreating as they bombed large cities and ports. Foreboding photos of captured troops in prisoner of war camps cast a pall on life. Each night I listened to F.D.R talking on the radio about fearing fear itself, infamy and victory.

I guess the most serious report was when a rumor floated throughout the state, in the newspapers, and on the radio about a German U boat being sighted off the new Jersey coast. The possibility the Nazis were about to invade us was now pervasive. Soon we were having mandatory, twice weekly, practice air raids. A loud, scary, wailing alarm sounded for a full minute. We were told it was a minute, but it felt like much longer. Everyone was ordered into his or her homes until the all clear alarm sounded five minutes later.

Ironically, amid all this tumult and turmoil, my life seemed calmer and more peaceful. There was less shouting and fighting both inside and outside the house and around the neighborhood. The war had initially sparked passions of pride and pomp, but as reports of casualties started to slowly filter back to the home front, a sense of fear and anxiety developed. I could feel it.

People were talking to other people more often as they shared their reactions and vulnerabilities. Some neighbors, Mrs. Fanning, the butcher, Mr. Cutrafello, and the scary old woman known as the "Calabrase Lady,” occasionally expressed concern about my sister and me.

I noticed this also among the adults milling around outside of Sabio’s and at the gas station. I felt closer to my peers both in school and while playing. I think our common fears drew us closer to each other. The school bullies picked on me less and the normally aloof older kids were more approachable.

This new atmosphere of serenity was temporarily and harshly shattered one morning in January, when I was awakened by the sound of police sirens. I jumped out of bed and ran outside as did everyone else in the house except grandma. I saw Larry across the street talking with some high school kids. I ran over and asked “What happened, Lar, what’s going on?”

Larry hesitated to tell me. He knew how scary I was and didn’t want his mother yelling at him later for spilling the beans and getting me all stirred up. I kept pulling at Larry’s sleeve.

Finally he gave in and said “don’t spread this around but Tommy Manning killed him self last night. He laid his head on the tracks and it got cut off.”

What, what,” I shouted, “you’re kidding, you know you’re kidding. What a sick joke, Larry. Why are you trying to scare me, you dirty bastard?” I hardly ever cursed but was so mad the words exploded out of me. The thought of someone who I actually knew, and in fact, had been kidding around with a few days earlier, not having a head, freaked me out.

Larry grabbed me by the arm and told me to shut up. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” he said angrily,” you’re a brat, I wouldn’t make up something this serious, you jerk. Tommy Manning is dead, He committed suicide. He’s dead. His body’s in his house. They found his head. They’ll be coming to get him pretty soon. Now move away from here, Johnny. The cop just told me we all have to get away from here.”

We slowly shuffled back across the street and sat on the curb in front of our house.

Tommy Manning was a seventeen-year-old senior at Rose Point high school, a star safety and punter on the football team, with a blond, cheerleader girl friend. I had a crush on her and never missed a chance to run outside if I saw her coming down the block. Actually, at that stage of my life, I had a crush on any blond as long as she had one head and two legs.

We learned the full story later. Tommy had reacted with horror to the Japs' surprise attack on Pearl Harbor and told everyone who would listen, he was going to join the Infantry, as soon as he graduated. He was going to wipe out every "yellow livered cruddy Jap" he could find. His face always would turn deep scarlet when he talked about the Japs, his eyes almost popping out of his head. He would crouch and hold his arms and hands in a position as if he was holding a machine gun. He would fire imaginary shots “rat a tat tat, rat a tat tat, rat a tat tat.” Shouting as fast as he coul. In his mind he would kill hundreds of Jap soldiers

That evening, I learned from my Uncle Jimmy even more of what happened. Tommy Manning had gone to the army recruiting center in Westfield, N.J. the previous morning to enlist. He couldn’t enter the army until he graduated in June, but the recruiters wanted him to sign up early so they could give him some written tests and a physical exam.

Well, would you believe it? Tommy failed the physical! He was suffering from malfunctioning adrenal glands. Anyhow, he was rejected and reclassified 4f, or, not fit for service. The 4f classification had a stigma attached to it since the start of the War. The newspapers said we needed all the men we could get. Only down and out bums or disabled people were being turned down.

Tommy came home that evening after apparently wandering aimlessly all afternoon. He said nothing to anyone and when his girl friend called about 9:00 p.m., he told his Mom to tell her he had gone to bed early.

Evidently he didn’t feel well. His father, a light sleeper, heard him slip out of the house just before midnight. The police investigative unit theorized what happened next as there were no witnesses.

Tommy, utterly dejected about not getting into the army and feeling totally humiliated, took a six pack of Ballentine beer out of the ice box and walked the hundred yards to the tracks directly in back of his corner house.

The police figured he drank all six beers in about 20 minutes, then laid flat on the ground on his belly and smoked a cigarette. His head rested just over the outer rail of the tracks. The westbound Silver Streak Express, originating in New York City and bound for Miami, neatly severed Tommy’s young beautiful head from the rest of his seventeen-year-old body.

I laid awake until 11 o’clock, replaying the horror of that day. I imagined Tommy, sneaking out, walking across the field where my friends and I played baseball every day and laying down with his head on the track. I pictured Tommy’s body, his head with the cigarette still dangling from his lips, as it slowly rolled away down the embankment, the very same embankment where Larry and I had sledded a month earlier during the snowstorm.

I sat upright in my bed, crying and shaking, and wished my mother was in the next bedroom instead of three thousand miles away.


keywords, paltrow,erin andrews,helicopter crash,tour de france,clunkers,janke,tequila,solange,spurrier

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What causes your P.C.to creep, crawl and then crash?

In one word, MAINTENANCE.

A personal computer, be it a laptop or a desktop can last you as long as a Volkswagen if you regularly perform some simple tasks.

My suggestions are based on my own personal experiences. I taught myself how to operate a PC in the earliest days of the Internet. I learned the hard way after repeated freezes and crashes. In those early days there was no google to go to for advice. The only way out of the simplest problem was to reboot. There were no preventive maintenance programs.

1.Do not trust the protection promised by your Internet Providers,Cable or Phone Company DSL providers or any other third party program. The "Lord helps those who protect themselves" is a good motto when you are dealing with millions of hackers who get their jollies from destroying your equipment.

Invest in a good top of the line software package and do not skimp on the price. Most are ineffective and a complete waste.

Besides the anti-virus feature they should also provide anti-spam, network security,anti-phishing,id protection, a two way firewall, anti-tracking devices,Internet worm protection, browser protection,intrusion preventions and web site authentication.

My personal favorite is the Norton Internet Security package. It is simple but incredibly effective. Run the scan feature at least once a week to see where your problems originate and delete the suspect programs. Once you have Norton installed you won't even know what horrible things are going on in the background because Norton cuts 99% of them off before they ever cause a critical problem.

Scan and delete the programs causing them anyway. Eventually they will wear your PC down much as an engine running with 2 year old engine oil in the crankcase of your car.

If your DSL constantly slows down until you would be better off with the old dial-up, be advised it is most likely a virus problem. Your DSL repairmen whether they be from Direct TV,Time-Warner, or Verizon will not tell you this as they understandably have to to justify their jobs.

The answerman tells you right now that almost all slow-down problems ruining your cyber experience are related to hidden infections you know nothing about!

Buy and install the Norton programs or equivalent software packages from reliable manufacturers. The times you are suddenly logged off will virtually disappear.
The Norton pkg costs about $89.00 at Staples, Best Buy etc.

2. Get a good Malaware program like Malwarebytes. Copy and paste this link in your browser window and then click on go:

http://www.malwarebytes.org/.

This program scans your hard drive for worms, bugs,viruses etc which are already on your PC. It identifies them by name, Vondos,Trojan, etc and removes them with a quick reboot and restart.

Dell customer support showed me where to get a free download of this program but you might have to pay for it if you find it on your own.

3. Use the chkdsk feature, monthly. Run it at night while you are sleeping as it can take hours to complete:

Follow these instructions very carefully.

Click Start and then click My Computer.
Right-click the hard disk drive to scan, and click Properties.
In the Local Disk Properties window, click the Tools tab.
Click Check Now.
In the Check Disk Local Disk window, click to select the box next to Automatically fix file system errors.
note

It is advisable to select "Scan for and attempt recovery of bad sectors" to physically check the surface of the hard disk. However, this step increases the time it takes to complete the scan. What do you care? You will be snoring away.

Click Start. A prompt may appear to perform the scan the next time the computer restarts. If so, click Yes. The computer restarts and runs Checkdisk and you go to bed.

That's it. Actually its not as difficult as it sounds.If my instructions confuse you, ask the manufacturer of your PC to help you or google check disk.

There is an optional program, DEFRAG which you can also use but I don't think its that important.


Comments and topic suggestions welcomed and appreciated.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

BETH WANTS A BABY! IS THE KING OF ALL MEDIA FIRING BLANKS?






The answer? It sure looks like it.

Howard Stern at age 55 has everything, almost everything.

Megalomaniacs are never satisfied unless they have absolutely everything.

They must constantly reaffirm their virility.It's a power trip.

Former United States Senator Al Amato this weekend publicly urged Howie and Beth to have a "little one." and implied it would help their marriage. Stripped of his machismo by scandals, Amato should know. His wife, who is decades younger than Senator Al, will give birth within days. The once powerful Senator can now feel like a man again.

The Stern marriage is doomed if Howie cannot deliver.

I predict Beth Ostrosky will leave Stern if he cannot get her pregnant by their second anniversary. She desperately wants a child and her time clock is running out. If she does depart she will marry a man at least 15 years younger than herself.

This is a truism; women who marry sugar daddies, sooner or later transmogrify into Cougar gals.

Howard has reiterated, almost daily on his radio show for the past 7 years that he does not want children The opposite is closer to the truth.

Never, ever believe what Stern reveals on-air about his private life.In fact, to know what is really going on, assume the opposite.

For twenty years,the lovely, ultra intelligent Allison Stern, phoned into the show several times. The loving banter between Howie and Allison was both entertaining and heartwarming. We loyal and rabid fans were duped.

Who knew he was at the time contemplating divorce from the mother of his three daughters?

Who knew 10 years ago, between marriages,that he was sleeping with Angie Everhart and Robin Givens?

Now ,Stern has to prove that he is still capable of having children. It is an obsession. There can only be one rational reason why Beth is not pregnant yet.

Of course they are both consummate actors so you will never hear confirmation of this fact from either of them on-air.

After all, why would this self-obsessed genius want to burden himself with raising a child now?

What burden?

Howard makes 25 million a year. He can hire a full time live in Mom to raise the child and pay the "Mom" 1 million a year. The only time he would have to see the kid is when he or she is handed to him for a photo op.

If this guy did not want a child he would have a vasectomy in one minute.

He is one of the cleverest men in the country. Has effectively buffered himself against the charges of sterility, but Daily Question has daily answers.

Howard has run out of solutions to his dilemma.He could have Beth inseminated from a sperm bank or from John Stamos and then announce it is his child.

Sure, and how does he explain when the baby comes out with a normal nose?

So the answer to today's question is yes.

Monday, July 20, 2009

What is the worst movie musical you have ever seen. When and where did you see it?




MAMMA MIA ..................SUNDAY NIGHT PREMIERE ON HBO

MAMMA MIA MAMMA MIA!!!!!!!!!!

For those of you who are not of Italian extraction or not married to one,"mamma mia" is what we say when we can't believe what our eyes are seeing, be it a catastrophe or a miraculous vision of the Virgin Mary.

Mamma Mia, the title, could not be more fitting and Mamma Mia, the movie could not be more catastrophic.

First of all I have no idea where it was shot, supposedly on a Greek island, but it looks more like Lake Hopatcong in Hackettstown, New Jersey.

There is not one redeeming feature or character in this movie. None of the characters can sing and none of them, and I mean not one of them, can emote!This is a movie you will find yourself paying to see again and again... at a midnight performance on Halloween. It is destined to be a cult classic of the Rocky Horror Picture Show genre.

Meryl Streep's career took such a hit from this movie that she entered a convent (DOUBT.) Why would such a great actress take on a role like this. They stuffed her into coveralls three sizes too small for her matronly figure and she same out looking like Ma Yokum in the long ago musical version of "Lil Abner."

Meryl has obviously had one too many face lifts because the face of a thousand moods is now frozen in place. It's hard to describe, sort of a semi smile or a smirk. The plastic surgeon responsible, most likely photoshopped images from every movie she ever made and morphed them into an irreversibly, set in stone, visage.

Plastic surgeons know that this will be the final result of their work so they try to sculpt a final expression that fits any situation but invariably fit none.Sort of like Michael Jackson or Cher before or after being embalmed.

Hollywood and its drug addled writers and directors can never rest on their losses so like drunken sailors in a casino, they stumble on and on. In this case it wasn't enough to totally miscast Ms. Streep so they also had her sing. Julie Andrews or Carol Lawrence, this woman isn't. George Constanza's TV mom she might be.

James Bond, the 20th, also stars(?) in this fiasco. To watch Pierce Brosnan play opposite Meryl, after seeing him running away from supermodels in the Bond films is hysterical,an all time casting blunder.

Colin Firth and Stellan SkarsgÄrd have to be out looking for new agents. Together with Brosnan as the three dads they look as goofy and as outdated as the Pep Boys, Manny Moe and Jack

Run to see this movie with several friends and see who can guess which of the three goons invited to the wedding is the real father. Then see if you care.

The girl who plays the bride to be is not miscast, she is mis-careered. Her soon to be groom could play Tony in West Side Story.

Darn, this was a premiere I looked forward to. Premiere you say? Yes, a movie today has 3 premieres, 3 opening dates.

The first of course is when it opens in theaters, The second is when the DVD makes it's debut. And the third and final one is for the Social Security set. We SS members can't afford either of the first two options so we wait until the film opens on HBO. This can be as long as 18 months after the theater opening.

For Mamma Mia the time frame was compressed into 6 months. It opened,opened again and this weekend opened for the final time.........or at least until midnight on Halloween.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Can we walk and chew gum at the same time?



Can we drive a car and text a message to a spouse or friend simultaneously?

Multitasking is in the news on all fronts this week, especially in the Sinday N.Y. Times article on how 70 MPH texting is comparable to drunken driving.

There are superheroes like Tiger Woods, Hillary Clinton and Lance Armstrong who seemingly thrive on overextending themselves. The great majority however are swimming and sinking at the same time.

Josh Waitzkin,for example, was an eight-time National Chess Champion in his youth. He holds a combined 21 National titles in addition to several World Championships in martial arts. He now trains hedge funds consultants and other companies in high-end learning and performance psychology. His cross-transfer of skill acquisition is incredible.

In his book, "The Art of Learning" he describes his thoughts while he was watching his former college professor,Dennis Dalton, deliver his final lecture before retiring. For 39 years,Professor Dalton has been inspiring Columbia and Barnard students with his two semester political theory series that introduces undergrads to the ideas of Gandhi, Thoreau, Mill, Malcolm X, King, Plato, Lao Tzu. Waitzkin considers Dalton the most influential person in his life.

The iconic professor was delivering a riveting 75-minute discussion on the birth of Gandhian non-violent activism. Waitzkin describes his inability to stay focused on his idol's words:

" I found myself becoming increasingly distressed," says Waitzkin,"as I watched students cruising Facebook, checking out the NY Times, editing photo collections, texting, reading People Magazine, shopping for jeans, dresses, sweaters, and shoes on Ebay, Urban Outfitters and J. Crew, reorganizing their social calendars, emailing on Gmail and AOL, playing solitaire, doing homework for other classes, chatting on AIM, and buying tickets on Expedia (I made a list because of my disbelief).

"From my perspective in the back of the room, while Dalton vividly described desperate Indian mothers throwing their children into a deep well to escape the barrage of bullets, I noticed that a girl in front of me was putting her credit card information into Urban Outfitters.com. She had finally found her shoes!

"When the class was over I rode the train home heartbroken, composing a letter to the students, which Dalton distributed the next day. Then I started investigating. Unfortunately, what I observed was not an isolated incident. Classrooms across America have been overrun by the multi-tasking virus. Teachers are bereft. This is the year that Facebook has taken residence in the national classroom."

Students defend this trend by citing their generation’s enhanced ability to overachieve. Recent scientific studies refute their claims. Apparently the human mind cannot multi-task without drastically reducing the quality of what it is processing through the cortex. Proficiency is cut in half when the brain tries to absorb visual and audio input at the same time, according to Waitzkin.

Actually multitasking, the current research reveals,is the fastest way to mediocrity.If you want to do great work concentrate on one task at a time.

The Sunday Times article explored the misconceptions about multitasking, particularly as regards driving while texting.

The article cites the story of a very nice young man, Chris Hill,20. Mr. Hill,a diligent student with a reputation for helping neighbors,also took pride in his clean driving record. “Not a speeding ticket, not a fender bender, nothing,” he said.

Last September ,Hill was so engrossed in a cell phone call that he ran a red light and didn’t notice Linda Doyle’s small sport utility vehicle until the last second. He hit her going 45 miles per hour. She was pronounced dead shortly after.

The Times article cites a 2003 Harvard study estimating that cellphone distractions cause 2,600 traffic deaths every year, and 330,000 accidents that result in moderate or severe injuries.

However, the article suggests that Americans have largely ignored that research. "Instead, they increasingly use phones, navigation devices and even laptops to turn their cars into mobile offices, chat rooms and entertainment centers, making roads more dangerous."

The definitive book about this modern day problem is:

The Myth of Multitasking: How "Doing It All" Gets Nothing Done
Dave Crenshaw
ISBN: 978-0-470-37225-8
Hardcover
144 pages
August 2008, Jossey-Bass

Some excerpts:

"There is an illusion. The illusion is that technology, cell phones, e-mail, faxes, text messaging and whatever else is curently "latest-and-greatest" makes us more productive.The reality, though, is that these things will only make us productive if we take control of them."

This is a lengthy post which I try to avoid. This is an important issue which has greatly affected my own life. I have a personal slant on it.

I believe seniors, especially super seniors (post 75) fall by the wayside because so many people who might normally be aiding them just don't have the time. The multitasking virus has taken control of their lives.

One the most difficult multitasking issues most human beings face at some time is the dual role of child and parent. While we raise our own children we are in fact still children who have parents. So by default we have a multi-task responsibility we wish we didn't have.

This issue floats beneath the radar right now but as the baby boomers inflate the ranks of the super aged a decade from now multitasking will no longer be an option.

No one ever said life was supposed to be easy.

PS: One of the most famous baby boomers,the indefatigable Tom Watson, did himself proud Sunday. I salute one of my all time heroes

Friday, July 17, 2009

WEEKEND REPEAT FROM ARCHIVES: SANSA FUZE VS. iPOD NANO MP3 PLAYERS


The Sansa Fuze 4g is a better MP3 player than the the vastly overrated iPod and costs about half as much.

Please bear in mind that this comparison refers to both products functioning specifically as audio MP-3 players.

The devil is in the details:

First of all the iPod is not a safe product for people with high blood pressure as it has more glitches than a weather forecast.

The iPod has a feature called syncing which can delete in one second 800 songs which it took you 10 years to accrue.

It is fragile; drop it and you better be standing on soft ground.

Most importantly you have to put up with the I-tunes application on your PC or your iPod is worthless.I-Tunes has satanic qualities. It can take control of your computer and your Windows media and reduce you to tears.

I lost my I-tunes from my laptop 6 months ago. Every day I searched for it and googled it and visited every geek store within a 50 mile radius. I followed every suggestion, no matter how absurd. I deleted it and all its files and all Quick Time files, bonjour and mobile device files and then reinstalled it. I must have done this at least 50 times to no avail. It would download but would not launch.

Finally I gave up and went shopping for a new MP-3 player, an "anything but iPod" Mp 3 player. I read all the reviews on the web, checked Consumer reports etc etc.

I finally decided on a Sansa Disk Fuze 4-g which is the equivalent in capacity to the iPod Nano 4g. It cost me $89.00 at Best Buy and it is one of the best purchases I have ever made. I have escaped from my I-tunes prison after 10 years of misery.

First of all the Sansa Fuze is better looking than iPod, sturdier and has a clearer screen. It is smaller than a credit card and thinner than a pencil.

It has FM radio with 20 preset stations.Why is this important. Well if you have satellite radio, Sirius or XM, you can set any FM radio in your home to 88.1 frequency and listen to Howard Stern through headphones on your Fuze.I happen to like Stern but i sure don't want my neighbors overhearing some of the language on that show. So now I sit on my patio and listen in private while they wonder what I am guffawing about.

The Sansa Fuze has a built in recorder so I can record reminders to myself of what I have to do on a given day.

It has a 24 hour battery life. Since I normally use it about and hour a day, I can go at least 3 weeks without running out during my morning walk, which happened constantly with my iPod.

It holds 800 songs but is expandable to 10g with the purchase of an inexpensive card.

To load new songs on to your player you simply click and drag your music from your computer's library into the Fuze file. This is a zillion times simpler than Apple's complicated, proprietary music file system.

To sum up, the iPod is more of a status symbol than a practical player. It can't hold a candle to the SanDisk Fuze. Don't be a snob, break free from the mob and light up with the Fuze.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Friday excerpt from S'mothered


It was very windy and very cold, normal weather for New Jersey in early December. This was a new experience for me.I stood outside on a corner freezing,waiting for elementary school students to cross the street. My hair, straighter than any hair I have ever seen, and parted right in the middle of my head, looked better on a day like this, as it flapped in the wind. My gray mackinaw was zipped right up to my neck.

At the start of the school year last September, my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Reynolds, selected me to be a crossing guard on the safety patrol. Each school day at 8:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m.,I stood on this corner wearing a white band, which stretched across my waist and chest. I was short for a ten year old and skinny, but when I carried out this prestigious duty,I felt six feet tall. The responsibility of stopping the students when they got to my corner,so they could cross the street together,puffed me up.

My cousin, Larry Villani, one year older than I, patrolled the corner across from my station. He wore no hat and his jacket was much lighter than mine was, but he looked warm as toast. I always looked up to Larry but this morning, for the first time, I felt I was his equal. I could remember very few days in my short life when I felt equal to anyone. I never resented Larry; he was more like a big brother to me than a cousin. What I did resent was what he and most other kids in Rose Point had. They had a dad who lived with them.

My sister and I weren’t sure if we had a dad at all. We heard very little about him for the first 10 years of our life. About twice a year, there was this strange man at Grandma Orlando’s house in Elizabeth, but he hardly talked to us, just asked us how we were doing in school. He looked pale and gaunt. I guessed he was my real dad because he called my Grandma, “mom,” but he could have been an uncle.

This man’s sisters, our aunts, called him Johnny and from these visits I gradually figured out why everyone in his family; uncles, aunts and cousins called me Junior. It was strange because no one else here in my neighborhood or at school,called me Junior.I grew to hate that nickname.I grew to hate so many things about my childhood and adolescence.In those rare visits at Grandma Orlando's,however,it at least confirmed to me that this mystery man was my father.

My mother never told me anything about him. Once in a while she would explode in anger, referring to him as "that bum.” Her anger discouraged me from asking about him.

My sister always told me,"Junior you think too much," and sure enough here I was, waiting for my classmates and other school kids to arrive and instead of enjoying my new status, I was thinking too much.

So I grew up knowing very little about my father. He truly was a mystery man. Where did he live, what did he do all day and why wasn’t he living with us? By now,I certainly should have known more specifics. Other kids my age would have insisted on it At least I think they would have.

I guess the reason I didn’t pester my mother about him was because of some hazy images I had of her screaming while he beat her. I was afraid of him. I figured, the less I knew, the better.

Larry lived in the apartment directly under us. He had three sisters and a brother and I spent a good amount of time at his place. His father, my Uncle Joe, was kind of weird. He always wore a blue striped suit, usually with vest and tie, even on weekends. His carefully groomed mustache spooked me a little and he wasn’t a very warm man. He used to work in the same sportswear factory as Uncle Sal, but I heard someone say he was fired for getting into too many fights.

I didn’t think about him much, just when he was home which wasn’t often. Larry said his mother, my Aunt Lucy, was always screaming at his father about his girl friend. She never referred to her as a “girl friend” though. Instead he called her something like a “Gooma.” None of it made sense to me anyhow. I had so many uncles, aunts and cousins; I would have gotten dizzy if I started comparing them, so I didn’t.

Waiting on this corner on this icy day I began to think of happier moments.Each summer I spent a month, usually July, with the Orlando family. They lived only four miles from us, in Elizabeth, New Jersey, but on the bus ride to their house, it seemed more like forty miles.

Grandma Orlando had given birth in her fifties to her final child, Edward. He was one year older than I. Eddie, technically was my uncle, but because we were so close in age, we felt more like cousins or brothers. Whenever I was at Grandma Orlando’s house, we played together from morning until night.

Grandma and Grandpa Orlando seemed to me a mismatched couple. Grandpa worked evenings as a bartender and slept during the day. He would wake up about 3:00 p.m., have dinner and leave for work. I’m sure he must have smiled once or twice at some point in his life, but it certainly wasn’t when I was there to see it. I heard rumors from one of my relatives they were matched up by their parents in Italy.

When Grandpa was eating dinner each day before leaving for work, Eddie and I were normally outside playing. The only time I ever saw Grandpa Orlando was during Sunday dinner, but I never felt comfortable with him. Actually I was in awe of him. He seemed to me quiet, unapproachable and mysterious. I can never remember him reaching out to pat me on the head, ask me a question or show any other concern. Was it because he didn’t want his son to marry my Mom?

Nonetheless, I looked forward all year to the month of July, the time I would spend at Grandma Orlando’s. When I left my home in Rose Point, and arrived at her home, it was as if I was watching a black and white movie, and it suddenly turned to technicolor. My world was transformed from drab to dazzling.

It wasn’t the area they lived in that exhilarated me. It was Grandma Orlando.
Carmella Orlando was an incredibly loving woman, a creature from another world. To compare my grandmother with any other human would be ridiculous.

Each time I arrived at her house, she would have me stand in front of her. She would just stare at me for maybe two or three minutes, silently sighing, and then say with a beautiful smile on her face. “My, how big you got” and then after a pause, “how beautiful you are, my, how beautiful you are.” She said it with such sincerity and love in her heart. It made my skin tingle. Never in my life, before or since, have I felt such love from a human being, male or female.

Whenever I thought of her, I visualized a woman with big sparkling eyes, incredibly white teeth and a soft face. She was always wearing a spotless white apron, sitting on a very light cream-colored sofa in a bright, sun splashed living room with white carpeting. The carpeting was solid white, with no patterns, and no stains. The room always smelled of roses. In the spring and summer she always had some freshly cut, in a vase. At other times of the year she must have sprayed the room with a fragrance.

Her sparkling kitchen smelled even cleaner. Every pot, pan, cup and saucer glistened. I often sat and watched her as she hand dried and then individually polished each piece of silverware and each glass with a clean, cotton hand towel. Each evening before she went to bed, she got down on her hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen linoleum until it was spotless.

Every Saturday night during my summer stay, Grandma Orlando washed my hair. She scrubbed my head with the same gusto and love with which she scrubbed the kitchen floor. It hurt and I dreaded that part of Saturday nights. Later when I went to bed, she sat near me and we said the Lord’s Prayer together. Then she tucked me in and kissed me on the forehead.

For breakfast she made home made cereal; oatmeal, farina, cream of rice. A bowl filled with bananas, oranges and grapes was placed in the center of the table. One day she gave us freshly squeezed orange juice, the next, pineapple or apple juice.
Two or three times a week she made French toast, hot cakes or scrambled eggs with sausage or bacon. Everything was covered with melted butter and hot maple syrup. Nothing like this happened in Rose Point. I guess that’s why it seemed so special.
When July was over, and it was time for me to return to my black-and-white life in Rose Point, Grandma Orlando took me into the living room, stared at me for a few minutes the same way as when I arrived. She hugged me and cried. I left and didn’t see her again until Christmas.

Of course the other important person missing in my sister’s and my life was our Mother, Suzie Villani Chiego. She lived with her husband Hank Chiego, in Riverside, California and had lived there since I was seven. When she went away, she said she would send for my sister and me after she got settled. I guess she never got settled, because she never sent for us. Hank was a soldier on the army base where they lived.

I loved the pictures my mother sent of him in uniform. When I looked at them, I imagined being a soldier some day and driving to California to live with them. Of course, by then I’d have been too old to live with them. Even so it seemed like it would have been great.

The past three years had not been a good period of my life. I’d been sick almost constantly with colds, coughs, sore throats and painful bouts with poison oak. I was absent from school more than I was there.

One summer I stepped on a rusty nail while playing with kids in the back yard. I always had large holes in my shoes. The family was poor, the depression was still plaguing them, and the last thing they thought about was my shoes. The nail pierced the bottom of my foot. Grandma put iodine on the wound and bandaged it.

During the next few days the foot swelled up and started to throb. It hurt so much I couldn’t sleep or go to school. By the time a doctor was called a week later, the wound had become infected with tetanus. I missed ten days of school and became even more morose and withdrawn.

In November of the second year of my mother’s stay in California, one of my frequent sore throats was left untreated for weeks while a low-grade fever persisted. In and out of bed for weeks I missed a month of school. Grandma Villani didn’t believe too much in doctors and couldn’t afford them even if she did. I asked her one day, “Grandma, why don’t you like doctors?”

She stared down at me and replied dourly, “If doctors were free, I would like them, Junior.”

Therefore, she tried to nurse me back to good health with her homemade remedies from the old country.

Finally, Aunt Vera became concerned and took me to Doctor Mallas in Elizabeth, the same town where the man we thought might be our father lived, our dad, the man the Villani’s always referred to as the bum.”

The doctor found I had a bad case of a strep throat, which, left untreated for so long, had developed into rheumatic fever. He immediately put me on an antibiotic, scolded my aunt Vera and asked where my mother was.

Aunt Vera explained to him about her sister’s stay in California with her new husband. Doctor Mallas said he would send a report of this incident to the Union County Health Department and recommend someone periodically stop by the home to see if my sister and I were receiving proper care

After being put on the medicine, I made a rapid recovery and was back to school in a few days. The rheumatic fever left me with a heart murmur I read about in a health book at school. It apparently messed up one of my heart valves, but wouldn’t affect me until I was old. It would never go away.

I missed my mom. Grandma Villani never seemed to know we were alive and Aunt Vera had a new boyfriend, so she wasn’t home much. Grandma dressed all in black since grandpa died a year ago. She was always crying and grouchy. She didn’t even listen to her Italian soap opera on the radio anymore.

I will never forget the day I came home from school and heard grandpa had suffered a heart attack and died. I never really knew grandpa as he was seldom home during the day. I felt sad and scared. All my aunts and grandma were screaming, wailing, and throwing themselves on the coffin.

The wake was in the living room of the house grandpa built 20 years earlier for his large family, which still lived there

A photographer came to the house and took a picture of grandpa lying in the coffin, dressed in a suit, white shirt and black tie, his head lying back on a huge white spooky pillow. His eyes were closed and his hands clasped together with some beads tangled in them. He was pale as a ghost over most of his face and looked pretty dead but his cheeks seemed red.

I thought to myself that since he still had red cheeks, maybe he’s not really dead. I was only eight at the time. I didn’t know a darn thing about death, why people died and where they went when they did. My imagination ran wild.

I didn’t say anything to anyone. In the past, on occasions where I wasn’t sure of what really was happening I would start asking questions. Someone would either laugh at me or scold me. I learned to keep my mouth shut about a lot of things. The redness of my Grandfather’s cheeks bothered me. Why were his cheeks red?

On the night before the funeral, I couldn’t sleep thinking about him being buried and then waking up. It must have been very late because no one was awake. I sneaked in the kitchen, grabbed a half a loaf of Italian bread, shuffled as quietly as I could into the living room where he was still in the coffin, maybe dead, but maybe just sleeping.

What if he woke up in a few days, after they buried him under all that dirt? What if he was hungry? All kinds of weird thoughts raced through my mind. I knew I would never sleep again for the rest of my life thinking of that, so I tucked the bread under the linen sheet, which was all around him and ran back to bed.

They wouldn’t let any of us kids go to the cemetery where they buried him but I overheard them later say my grandmother threw herself into the grave when they lowered the coffin a little. They had to drag her off the coffin and out of the grave.

I once heard my Uncle Sal explaining why he would never get married.
Women smother men from the time they are born,” he said to Aunt Vera.
He was joking and probably said it to get her dander up, but it stuck with me. Was grandma still trying to smother grandpa even when he was being put into the grave? Maybe she thought he was still alive too? I hoped she didn’t find the bread. I never found out and was afraid to ask.

About six months later I was snooping around the house when I was sure there was no one home. I liked to rustle through the bureau drawers seeing what someone might have hidden, or just to smell the cedar. There was an old, faded brown, five-drawer chest in my grandparents’ bedroom with missing drawer pulls. It looked like it had been stored outside for a while.

In the furthest corner of the bottom drawer, under all kinds of clothing I felt a very large cardboard folder, about a foot long and a foot wide. I reached in and dragged it out, laid it on the bed and opened it. I screamed so loud I almost choked. It was the picture of my grandfather lying in the coffin! He was staring right at me and I swear his eyes were open. At that point, I was sure they had buried him alive.

I thought about all these kind of things too much for my age, but on this morning, wearing my crossing guard uniform, I felt pretty good.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

WHERE IS THE RIGHT TO LIFE BRIGADE WHEN THESE POOR PREGNANT CONVICTS NEED THEM ?







Nowhere to be seen.

Look at the photo here closely. Does anyone see a sign condemning abortion? Do any of these demonstrators outside the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility last week look like they would be members of that advocacy group for pregnant mothers?

Of course not.

The women in the photo are protesting the treatment of pregnant female convicts inside Bedford Hills who give birth while wearing chains, cuffs and shackles. As they enter labor their legs are restrained and some are shackled to a bed rail. These are not violent offenders. Most are in prison for relatively minor drug offenses.

Some quotes from the Sunday N.Y. Times article by Jim Dwyer on July 12th.
Speaking of a former convict, Venita Pinckney as she left her cell last November on the way to the prison hospital to give birth, “a corrections officer wrapped a chain twice around her waist and handcuffed her to it. Then he covered the handcuffs with a locked black box to further limit her range of motion. Finally, her ankles were shackled.

“I told the officer he’s not supposed to shackle me,” Ms. Pinckney said last week. “He said he was just following procedure.”

Both houses of the N.Y.State legislature passed a bill recently which would bar the shackling of women in labor but it is still awaiting the Governor’s signature.

Another woman at the rally commented on the absurdity of chaining women in labor to prevent any possibility they might use the occasion to attempt escape from the Bedford Hills state prison. They are on the fifth floor of the hospital in scrubs and heavy boots. There are heavily armed guards outside their doors.

One woman said they freed her legs from restraints to allow the baby to exit her womb but as soon as her son was born, the guard shackled her to the bed rail. “I had to push the placenta out with the shackles on. That was the worst,” she said.
Another convict, about to give birth to twins, was cuffed throughout a lengthy C-Section procedure.

And we thought the Abu Ghraib torture could only happen in Iraq, certainly not in the United States of America.

This barbaric treatment has been going on for possibly decades. The article did not say, but the fact that just now, in the year 2009, the state is passing legislation to make it criminal, makes any civilized person froth at the mouth.

However, my anger is directed towards the right wing crazies who did not show up to demonstrate for the signing of this law, post haste. Could it be because most of the pregnant women involved are not white? Or because they are incarcerated?

Why is it that the anti-abortion crowd is most vociferous about the first and second trimesters of pregnancy? As the woman gets closer and closer to giving birth they seem to forget her. What about when the child is two, three, or five years old; when the child is starving because her now ex-convict Mom cannot get a job because of her record. Ever notice that this is when these “holier than thou” advocates completely disappear.

And why did the New York Times.the newspaper of record, bury this extremely important story on page 24? Surely this situation deserved more exposure than the front page article they ran in the same edition on “concrete testing?”

Just asking.